A Joke

After a series of word salads, I’ve decided to write what one might call a palate cleanser — a watershed before we move on to the secondi.

A little glimpse into a deeply vulnerable exchange between two people. A dialogue. It went something like this:

“If you brush your teeth, it will protect you from cavities.

If you floss, it will protect you from plaque build-up.

If you use mouthwash, it will protect you from bad breath.

If you scrape your tongue, it will protect you from tongue bacteria.

If you do oil pulling, it will protect you from whatever oil pulling does.

If you brush your teeth and floss, it will protect you from cavities and plaque build-up.

If you brush your teeth and use mouthwash, it will protect you from cavities and bad breath.

If you brush your teeth and scrape your tongue, it will protect you from cavities and tongue bacteria.

If you brush your teeth and do oil pulling, it will protect you from cavities and whatever oil pulling does.

If you floss and use mouthwash, it will protect you from plaque build-up and bad breath.

If you floss and scrape your tongue, it will protect you from plaque build-up and tongue bacteria.

If you floss and do oil pulling, it will protect you from plaque build-up and whatever oil pulling does.

If you use mouthwash and scrape your tongue, it will protect you from bad breath and tongue bacteria.

If you use mouthwash and do oil pulling, it will protect you from bad breath and whatever oil pulling does.

If you scrape your tongue and do oil pulling, it will protect you from tongue bacteria and whatever oil pulling does.

If you brush your teeth, floss, and use mouthwash, it will protect you from cavities, plaque build-up, and bad breath.

If you brush your teeth, floss, and scrape your tongue, it will protect you from cavities, plaque build-up, and tongue bacteria.

If you brush your teeth, floss, and do oil pulling, it will protect you from cavities, plaque build-up, and whatever oil pulling does.

If you brush your teeth, use mouthwash, and scrape your tongue, it will protect you from cavities, bad breath, and tongue bacteria.

If you brush your teeth, use mouthwash, and do oil pulling, it will protect you from cavities, bad breath, and whatever oil pulling does.

If you brush your teeth, scrape your tongue, and do oil pulling, it will protect you from cavities, tongue bacteria, and whatever oil pulling does.

If you floss, use mouthwash, and scrape your tongue, it will protect you from plaque build-up, bad breath, and tongue bacteria.

If you floss, use mouthwash, and do oil pulling, it will protect you from plaque build-up, bad breath, and whatever oil pulling does.

If you floss, scrape your tongue, and do oil pulling, it will protect you from plaque build-up, tongue bacteria, and whatever oil pulling does.

If you use mouthwash, scrape your tongue, and do oil pulling, it will protect you from bad breath, tongue bacteria, and whatever oil pulling does.

If you brush your teeth, floss, use mouthwash, and scrape your tongue, it will protect you from cavities, plaque build-up, bad breath, and tongue bacteria.

If you brush your teeth, floss, use mouthwash, and do oil pulling, it will protect you from cavities, plaque build-up, bad breath, and whatever oil pulling does.

If you brush your teeth, floss, scrape your tongue, and do oil pulling, it will protect you from cavities, plaque build-up, tongue bacteria, and whatever oil pulling does.

If you brush your teeth, use mouthwash, scrape your tongue, and do oil pulling, it will protect you from cavities, bad breath, tongue bacteria, and whatever oil pulling does.

If you floss, use mouthwash, scrape your tongue, and do oil pulling, it will protect you from plaque build-up, bad breath, tongue bacteria, and whatever oil pulling does.

If you brush your teeth, floss, use mouthwash, scrape your tongue, and do oil pulling, it will protect you from cavities, plaque build-up, bad breath, tongue bacteria, and whatever oil pulling does,” he said.

“I get it,” she said.